Toward the end of last year someone pointed out to me that perhaps I was procrastinating all the time because I didn’t have enough to do, and that’s why I was getting nothing done and living in physical and emotional chaos. I think they were right. In recent weeks I’ve been so much busier than I was, but I’m also a lot happier. I think it’s partly because I am more focussed on scheduling proper family time, instead of just drifting about the house on family days doing bits and pieces of jobs, with everyone getting grumpy and dissatisfied – I have to be more organised now because otherwise I can’t keep up with the party planning and eBaying as well as running the house and caring for the family plus my voluntary stuff. So we are having more fun together as a family, and naturally that makes me happy!
I know it’s also because I’m kind of working again a little. It’s good for me. I’m happier on myself, and my husband is clearly happy that I’m happy, and he has had no issues taking on a few extra household and childcare tasks so that everything still gets done now that my attention is away from the home for a few more hours a week. If I’m honest I think it’s also probably easier to be cooperative and pleasant around a wife who is no longer giving off a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle!) vibe of discontent and resentment at all times. I’ve been working really hard on being mindful, and grateful for the little things, and while I have had the odd blip (e.g. irrational meltdowns caused by missing keys etc – well I am still me, after all!), I think things are starting to improve around here. Certainly, I am not currently feeling as resentful as I was. And things in general actually seem to be under control – for now, anyway! So, I’m just staying in the now this evening, and enjoying it 🙂