Tag Archives: déjà vu

Now is right on time

I found this quote today, via The Letters of Gratitude‘s Twitter feed (I searched for the source and while I discovered Asha Tyson‘s inspirational story, I don’t know where the graphic originated – if you do, please share!).

Since I put myself on this path of mindfulness intention at the beginning of the year I have not so much been searching for answers as gradually and almost without conscious thought opening myself to new ideas and ways of Being. In recent weeks things have been coming together in ways that I just can’t believe are coincidence. For example, I won very expensive tickets to a conference about which I previously knew nothing, which turned out to be organised by a Tibetan Buddhist centre, right when I have been developing a gradual interest in Buddhism, and that just because I randomly came across Buddhism for Mothers on Amazon earlier this year. I was moved and inspired by so many of the speakers and the time away in itself gave me a fantastic opportunity for reflection and resulted in a new appreciation for the life I currently lead.

Upon my return from the conference I experienced a full 2 days of freakishly frequent and sometimes constant déjà vu. It was extremely disconcerting and I am very glad it stopped! But at the same time I had this constant sense not only that I had been here before but that it was absolutely the right place to be. It was a feeling of familiarity that actually gave me a sense of calm alongside the slight anxiety that I was losing my mind. Which was not much helped by a quick google that suggested that I either had a brain tumour, onset of epilespy, or previously untapped psychic ability! A friend suggested that I should not be at all concerned as it clearly meant that I am on the right path, and I am after much thought now inclined to agree with her. It makes sense to me, further encouraged as I am by my current reading – Shirley Maclaine’s Out on a Limb . She certainly does put herself out on a limb to those such as myself who don’t know much about such alternative ways of thinking and being! But, it is certainly preferable to worrying that I have brain tumour, and so I am keeping an open mind and just going with it!

While this current phase of my life is so blessed (by who, or what, I have yet to decide!), a great many shall we say “dark” years went before. I’ve been sober for almost a decade now and I am still often haunted by the time I feel I’ve wasted along the way, not just with regard to my alcoholism per se but to do with relationships, family, finances, and opportunities lost both related to my drinking and otherwise. That’s why I love this quote and I think it really does ring true for me, especially at this time in my life. The point is (yes, I do have a point somewhere in this post) that I have a deep sense that now is where I am absolutely meant to be. I feel myself increasingly drawn to Buddhism. Brought up in a strict Christian household, I have neglected my spiritual side for a great many years. Not any more. It does indeed feel like now is right on time.

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