Tag Archives: SAHM

I choose to disconnect

I was going to write a post this week about the genuine joys of aging, inspired by my last aquazumba class which was attended by some fabulously slim and energetic 18 year olds. I also intended to write my weekly Listmania post today. However, prompted by an article called How to Miss a Childhood, I am cutting down on my online time. Please have a read of the article if you have a mo, and let me know what you think. Judging by the feedback over at The Mindful Mum on Facebook and in my local mothers group online, as well as the comments on the post, a lot of mums, myself included, have found it pretty emotive.

I’m taking a break from blogging for a while. One thing I will really miss is being part of 52 Weeks of Grateful. Remembering to be grateful and making a conscious decision to start from a standpoint of gratitude rather than of dissatisfaction or desire when contemplating my life is one of the greatest lessons I have learned in this blogging journey. I am going to buy a very pretty notebook and turn it into an old-fashioned Gratitude Journal.

I will continue to be Mindful to the best of my ability. I may even finally get around to reading my dusty copy of Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World !

Life as the full-time stay at home mum of two little girls is just too busy for me to keep trying to stretch myself in so many directions, and reading that article has made me question my use of social media in general. While my use of my phone is nowhere near as extreme as that described described in the article, my social media time does warrant some analysis, and yesterday I pledged to only use Facebook when they’re both sleeping. By this afternoon in the back of my mind I’m thinking, there are other things I’d like to do with that down time than Facebook and blog. I love to read, why not just get the chores out of the way and read novels every single day, whenever I get a chance? I want to cook more and I’m always thinking I don’t have time. I want to learn more about Buddhism, but I never seem to have time to read Buddhism for Mothers of Young Children. But really, I can make time for whatever I choose.

I choose to disconnect. For a while at least.

Thank you for visiting The Mindful Mum 🙂

 

I’m grateful 5/52

After a pretty hellish week at the coal face of parenting very small children, I suddenly arrive at Sunday and feel utterly at peace with my lot. Probably something to do with the fact that Sunday is our Saturday due to my husband’s work, so this is the start of our weekend. Plus, I got to go out and have my Me Time – a Metaqua class followed by an Ethiopian curry at the market followed by a proper coffee and a short stroll around the mall…all ALONE, gloriously alone 🙂

I’m grateful for my chunk of Me Time. Keeps me from descent into complete FT SAHM lunacy – today I shall just peer at it from afar.

I’m grateful that I get to live in a small town with a big cultural mix. Ethiopian curry at the market followed by coffee picked up at the new European-style deli/cafe today. I can have the best Thai food I’ve ever had outside of Thailand anytime, too. Oh and Vietnamese spring rolls. Indian butter chicken. German bratwurst. This is not a big place by most people’s standards, I think the population including outlying areas is only about 70,000. No Starbucks, no Myers etc. (thankfully!) Small enough that I can have a chat with the Ethiopian lady that made my curry, and bump into a friend while I’m eating it; small enough to have a good talk about cheese with the deli owner’s daughter and to know that every time I go into town chances are I’ll run into someone I know. But still with so very much to offer besides!

I’m grateful that my body is healthy and getting stronger by the day. I walked over 130k in January and I’m aiming for 150k in February. I’m grateful that I have legs that work, unsightly with thread veins though they are! I’d go bonkers if I didn’t exercise. I need the time out and the endorphins! I’m grateful that my husband supports me practically in my efforts to feel empowered and strong via daily exercise.

I’m grateful for my smartphone. I recently discovered the joys of Endomondo via a girlfriend and a group of us mums are doing monthly walking challenges. So motivating and also a lot of fun!

I am grateful for my lovely group of mummy friends and the way we support each other in our efforts to get and stay fit and healthy, and to bring up fit and healthy children.

I’m grateful for the many fabulous connections I’m making in the online world via blogging and Facebook pages. I am learning so much about health, happiness, motherhood, womanhood, possibilties, other worlds, other people’s experiences…

Today is a bloody good day. I’m grateful for that. And it’s not over yet!

I’m linking in with 52 Weeks of Grateful hosted by Maxabella

Had to share this one. Buddhist teachings on patience so relevant to life with a toddler!

Listmania #1: Currently I am

listmania-2-550Currently I am:

Reading: The Secret Keeper by Kate Morton & Slim for Life by Jason Vale

Listening to: Juan Luis Guerra

Laughing at: My toddler’s madness

Swooning over: New Kathmandu bag that I got for free because they made an absolute balls-up of my online order & wanted to “restore my faith” – faith restored! Also Season 8 Grey’s Anatomy 🙂

Planning: Autumn hols in Nundle, New England (NSW)

Eating lots of: Healthy stuff!

Feeling: Positive

Discovering: Lots of inspiring blogs and bloggers

Looking at: The beautiful mountains in the distance when I go for my evening fitness walk (soon to be run!)

Wearing: Right now? Truth? Over-sized white harem pants with an ancient t-shirt and pink ankle socks. Yummy mummy I am not! 🙂

Cooking: Have planned to Wednesday thus far – fritatta, felafel and sweet potato, zuchinni & chickpea tagine.

Wondering: Will the baby wake up before I finish this post? If she does will I be able to squeeze in another episode of McDreamy while I feed her, before Miss M arrives back from morning out with Papa? Ya know, the important stuff…

Trying out: New recipes. And experimenting with my Christmas present-to-self juicer. Now totally craving my juice every morning!

Linking in with Deb at Home Life Simplified for Listmania

I’m Grateful 3/52

Oh. My. Gaaaaaaawd. I wish I had sat down to write this post yesterday, it would have been a whole lot easier! Yesterday was a Good Day. It began with a  lovely friend coming to visit armed with chocolate profiteroles and blueberry custard danishes from the local artisan bakery (not just any old bakery, ya know!). What day wouldn’t go well with a start like that? Fabulous!

Today, however, is another story. Poo on the floor . Wee on the booster seat. The usual baby sick. Those things I can handle, yadda yadda. But throw in the HEAT!! The HUMIDITY!! And a very fractious toddler (arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *silent mummy scream*) and I am struggling a little to be all bright and grateful for my lot right now. We should have tidied up the toys last night, folded a bit more washing. I hate waking up to chaos and try hard for that not to happen, it just sets me up all wrong. I didn’t manage to juice until late morning either, and I think that had an impact. Body craving good stuff and not happy with just a cup of hot water with lemon and a slice of marmite on toast until 11am. Silly.

So. About all I can do at this moment is sit in the moment and try to be Mindful through gritted teeth. In this very moment, nobody is screaming. I feel a nice breeze at last. And, breeeeeeeathe….

I am thinking back to my first grateful post of this year and counting a few of the thousands of things that have actually gone right today…OK, could be worse!

I am grateful for Tractor Ted and to my Auntie in Aberdeen, Scotland, for sending it to Miss M, who is (I hope not suspiciously) quietly watching it as I type. We are still TV free (as in, it’s not plugged into the aerial). It’s been months now and I don’t miss it at all, although I do still get my fix of occasional docos and British crime dramas on ABC iView. But show me a mum that wouldn’t collapse in a hopeless, sobbing heap now and then if it wasn’t for the existence of some nice DVDs or In the Night Garden on the iViewer…if you are She, please tell me how!!

I’m grateful that my husband is finishing work 45 minutes early this evening. Those 45 minutes may be the difference between this mama’s thread snapping and (relative) sanity.

And that’s about all I can manage for gratefuls this afternoon!

Ommmmmmmmmmmm….

I’m linking in with 52 Weeks of Grateful hosted by Maxabella

Motherhood is a choice I make

MotherhoodSo I came across this image in my social networking travels today and what really caught my attention was the “you”.

Motherhood is a choice you make every day…

I’ve blogged quite a lot about my having issues with resentment, particularly my being resentful of my husband. But it occurred to me just now, maybe I’m not actually resentful of him. After all, what is there to be resentful of? He’s a bloody great husband and father, totally hands on, always involved. I know not everyone has this kind of support from their partner. No, I don’t actually think I am resentful of him. I can’t resent him for being out of the house during the day, he’s working to support us. I also know that if I told him I wanted to go back to work in some capacity, he would support me. He’s told me too that if I want Miss M to go into daycare now and then so I get a break and just be with the baby, so be it, he’s ok with that. So what exactly am I angry and resentful of him for? He hears me, and he’s willing to discuss options.

I’m suddenly thinking that really if I’m honest it’s all about me. I think I’m just knackered, and pissed off with being on call 24/7 and I take it out on him because who else is there to take it out on. Pissed off with always being the one that decides what’s for dinner and makes sure we all have clean clothes. That does all the research about food and tantrums and sleep and so on and so forth and so ON. That sorts out the playdates and the doctors appointments. Yadda yadda. All the SAHM stuff.

But it’s what I choose to do. Firstly I chose to have my beautiful, much-loved daughters. However, I have also chosen the SAHM lifestyle. I believe it is the best thing for my daughters and for my family as a whole. Yet it looks like two years in I still need to find a way of coming to terms with the actual living of this lifestyle. Does that make any sense?

Gosh another little spark went off in my head. I’m not doing anything for me at the moment. I’ve started making sure that I go for a fitness walk every day (aiming for that 10k run in September) and that’s helping a lot. But there isn’t anything else. I’m pretty sure that if I started thinking about what I want for myself  and acting on it, then maybe I’d be able to do all the other stuff without feeling resentful – not of my husband, but of my own choice to be a SAHM.

I think it’s about time I sat down and figured a few things out. Last week I bought a Create Your Incredible Year Workbook & Planner and I haven’t given myself time to look at it properly yet but it looks brilliant and comes highly recommended. It’s about really working out what you want and need from your year, and actually making it happen.

Time for this mama to start figuring a few things out!

Thousands of things

This week I am grateful that so many little things go right every day, even though I may sometimes feel like the days are pretty rough with Miss A being only 6 weeks old and Miss M being, well, her usual toddler self! This image came up on my newsfeed this week and it’s a great thought to begin the New Year with. So, today I am grateful that nobody is sick, the water and electric are on, breastfeeding continues to go so well, sun was shining so we could go for a walk, didn’t run out of milk, managed to get a wash on, flooded the laundry but caught it in time and no serious damage, internet working, remembered to hang the washing out, Miss M napped easily, Miss A is slept well too, and I got some much-needed down time….the list is endless when I really think about it! For that, I am grateful.

This is post 1/52 of 52 Weeks of Grateful

#reverb12 Day 29: Have you heard your word?

What word did you select to be your travelling companion in 2012? What gifts did this word bring?

The concept of choosing a word for the coming year is a new one for me, so I didn’t actively select one last year. However, had I chosen, it would without a doubt have been Mindful. I’ve done my best in 2012 to learn to be more mindful in every aspect of my life and I’ve learned so much along the way. I know that I’ve weathered a few storms a lot better than I would have done had I not embarked upon my quest to live a more mindful existance. It’s a lifelong journey and I look forward to honing my mindfulness skills in 2013. Certainly I now have a great many resources from which to draw inspiration and knowledge moving into the new year. Blogroll coming!

What word will you choose to guide you through 2013? What do you hope it will bring into your life?

Calm. Being a stay at home mum is a joy in so many, many ways, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. But it’s also bloody tough work – emotionally, mentally and right now 5 weeks post-caesar with a toddler to care for as well demand breastfeeding, physically. It’s 24/7. There is no let up. I have to stay calm in the face of it all, for the sake of me, my girls and my husband. I must remain smiling (albeit doubtless a bit maniacally at times) in the midst of the madness and remember that it will get easier. That way I’ll be sure to enjoy the precious moments, of which I know there will be many.

This post is part of #reverb12 hosted by Kat at I Saw You Dancing

#reverb12 Day 26: How will you make time?

How very apt that today’s #reverb12 prompt should be about making time! When both my children are sleeping, as they are now, I feel I have a modicum of control over things. The rest of the time, not so much! I am told that things will get easier, and I know it is true, but right now I’m in the thick of it with a toddler and a breastfeeding five week old. My time is not my own to prioritse beyond making sure I eat properly. Sleeping is rather outwith my powers as I grab what I can between night feeds. As for “sleep when the baby sleeps” during the day, well that’s all very well until you have more than one child – and a burning desire for a little bit of time to yourself when a small miracle happens and they are both asleep at the same time!

{24 hours later}

How do you intend to carve out more time for the things that are the most important to you in 2013?

1, Get up 30 minutes before husband leaves for work regardless of who else is asleep so I have time to shower, dress, put on a load of washing and eat some cereal, so I can start the day in a better frame of mind to PLAY! Because my children are what’s most important to me and they need me to play with them, not be a frazzled, distracted wreck first thing.

2, Start expressing in about 8 weeks so that husband can be left alone with the baby as well as Miss M and I can get out on my own now and then – primarily so I can start running again. It’s really important to me that I start running again – so very good for my mental health and also I really want to lose the baby weight and get myself back in shape. One of my 2013 goals is to take part in our local running festival in September, either 10k or half marathon, and serious training will be required.

3, Whenever I chance to have both girls sleeping at the same time in the afternoon, after eating (always most important) I will take 30 minutes just to sit down and read a book or blog or sew or watch something on the iViewer instead of runninga round doing chores. It’s most important that I get some me time to avoid burnout  –  and just to stay smiling for my family!

4, Stop obsessively checking Facebook, so many hours are sucked away!!! There are so many other things that are more important to me. Facebook has become a bit of a bad habit – I so appreciate the connection during my SAHM day-to-day, but I don’t need quite so much, and that time can be much better spent. I intend to disconnect from social media more in 2013, because pretty much everything is more important than Facebook and Twitter!

And now, my time is up!

This post is part of #reverb12 hosted by Kat at I Saw You Dancing

Mushrooms on toast, mindfully

Monday mornings are my time out, when my husband takes Miss M to swim school and I go into town and do a little shopping for things that are not groceries, visit the library when it’s not Storytime, and have a coffee alone, alone in the sunshine instead of at the playcentre. As a stay at home mum, I adore – and need – my Monday mornings!! It was also my intention to make some time to meditate today, but I was side-tracked by a pavement cafe special – hot drink and locally grown mushrooms on toast, $10. It was absolutely delicious and I consider the whole experience, which included a pot of green tea and a home-baked Anzac biscuit, to have been just as good for this very pregnant mama’s soul as meditating would have been. Certainly I mindfully savoured every morsel!

Today I also want to post another of Kirri White‘s fab Facebook shares. I came across this one yesterday and it really resonated with me. I don’t think I realised it was true for me on a personal level until I read it, and found that it actually made me feel quite emotional. I had a good long dark decade in my 20s and I think that it is only now in my late 30s that I can really reflect on and properly understand that what happened back then has made me what I am today, and that I am ok with that. I can now stand up and say this is who I am, warts and all, without shame or fear. It’s a great feeling.

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